i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
