What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
