It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
