Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
