Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
