I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
