You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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