im about as happy as oj after his trial
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
