Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
