she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
