Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
