I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
