I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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