does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
