remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
