She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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