I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
