you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
