I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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