With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
