Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
