Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize