so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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