TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize