Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm having to shit out rocks
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