Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
