Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I smell stomach acid.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
