we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
