I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
