Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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