Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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