I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
