I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
