video games are the ultimate cock blocker
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
It's official drugs can't kill me
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
