Even the bartender felt bad for me
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
