hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
