Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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