In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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