what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
