I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
