How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
