i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
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