problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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