Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
