you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
