Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
