yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Terrible idea I love it
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
