I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
