Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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