i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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