im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
