Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
