so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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