Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
