Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
