Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
